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Speech Writing — How to Add Humour to Your Speeches and Presentations without Telling Jokes

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Adding humour to a speech or presentation is a great way to build rapport with your audience.  But one common piece of bad advice is to tell a joke at the beginning of the speech to “loosen up the audience”.  This approach is even more ineffective when the joke has nothing to do with the topic of the speech or the purpose of the event. If the joke doesn’t work, the speaker might lose momentum for the rest of the speech.  Also, not everyone is good at telling jokes. Some people enjoy telling jokes to their family and friends, and can make them laugh, while others often fall flat in their attempts.

But if you don’t tell jokes, how can you add humour to your speech writing?

One effective way is to use humorous quotations that are related to your message. Something funny has been said about every subject, and it’s easy to find these quotations on the internet.

For example, when I speak to audiences about writing, I mention the science fiction writer Robert Heinlein who said, “Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.”

You can even find humour in computers and information technology. If you were writing a speech about computers, Google “humorous computer quotations” and you will find many to choose from.

“Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.”  Joseph Campbell

“Software and cathedrals are much the same — first we build them, then we pray.”  Unknown

“If the automobile had followed the same development as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year killing everyone inside.”  Robert Cringely

“There are two major products that came out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We do not believe this to be a coincidence.”  Jeremy S. Anderson

“Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days after you actually purchase some other computer.”  Dave Barry

If the quotation is from an unknown source, you can say, “Someone once said” and then deliver the quotation.

After finding the quotations from the various sites, choose one or several that you feel will fit your audience and topic. If you are writing for a non-technical audience, a quotation that requires technical knowledge won’t be funny, so always keep your audience in mind. You also want to be sure that the quotation isn’t offensive.

Quotations can also help you add some humour when teaching. For example, when we give workshops on business writing and speech writing we emphasise the importance of being as concise as possible. But clear and simple writing often requires more time and effort, so we mention Blaise Pascal who wrote, “I have made this letter longer than usual, only because I have not had time to make it shorter.”

You can combine related quotations to strengthen your message while adding some humour. This example is from the opening of a speech we wrote for a CEO who was speaking about innovation at his company.

Innovation requires us to look to the future. But the pace of change can be so quick that many of the predictions about technology have been wrong.

In 1830, Dionysius Lardner, professor of Natural Philosophy and Astronomy, said, “Rail travel at high speed is not possible, because passengers, unable to breathe, would die of asphyxia.”

In 1895 Lord Kelvin, president of the Royal Society said, “Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible.”

In 1926, Dr. Lee De Forest, inventor of the vacuum tube and father of television, said, “Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific advances.”

In 1977, Ken Olson, the founder and president of Digital Equipment Corp, said, “There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.”

To be safe, I won’t be making any major predictions today. But I will share some of my thoughts on innovation at our company.

Before using quotations in a speech or presentation, you will want to confirm their authenticity and accuracy. You can do this comparing quotations websites or, even better, finding the original source of the quotation, such as an article or interview.

You don’t have to tell jokes to add humour to your speeches and presentations. So the next time you are faced with a speech writing task or preparing a presentation, find and use humorous quotations.

Michael Gladkoff

Speech Writing — How to Empower Your Speeches and Presentations with Quotations

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Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.” Emerson’s quotation sounds humorous but his advice should not be applied to speech writing. When used effectively, quotations can add variety and credibility to your speeches and presentations.

In this article, we will look at the reasons for using quotations in your speeches and presentations, and provide a few examples of how to use them most effectively.

When you are speaking to persuade an audience — whether to buy a product or service, win them over to your way of thinking, or influence their beliefs about your organisation — there are many speech writing tools you can use to bolster your case. These include facts, statistics, stories and quotations. They all bring an external element that supports your proposition — it’s not only you who is saying this, but another person. Generally, the person you quote should be a respected authority in their field.

In How Aristotle Can Help You with Your Business Writing and Speaking we looked at logic, emotion and authority as essential elements of persuasion. While facts and statistics support the logical element of an argument, and stories bring in an emotional element, quotations add credibility. When you quote an authority — not connected to you or your business — you add the person’s credibility and standing to your case.

In the workshops and presentations we give about business writing and speech writing, for example, we use quotations from experts (past and present) to support our case for simple and uncluttered writing.

“Every word that is unnecessary only pours over the side of a brimming mind.” — Cicero

“Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific term or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.” — George Orwell, Politics and the English Language

“Executives and managers at every level are prisoners of the notion that a simple style reflects a simple mind. Actually a simple style is the result of hard work and hard thinking; a muddled style reflects a muddled thinker or a person too dumb or too lazy to organize his thoughts.” — William Zinsser, On Writing Well

By using these quotations, we bring outside confirmation to the idea that simple writing is best.

In a business context, the need for change is a common speech topic. If you were writing a speech about the need and importance of change, you could use quotations such as:

“Everybody has accepted by now that change is unavoidable. But that still implies that change is like death and taxes it should be postponed as long as possible and no change would be vastly preferable. But in a period of upheaval, such as the one we are living in, change is the norm.” — Peter F. Drucker

“Change before you have to.” — Jack Welch

“Change is the law of life and those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.” — John F. Kennedy

In this situation, the right quotation (or quotations) for your speech or presentation would depend on the specific message you want to convey about change. Many quotations websites can be searched by subject, keyword or author. Finding the appropriate quotation can take some time, but it’s well worth the effort.

As with business speeches, quotations can add depth and credibility to motivational speeches. Earl Nightingale was a master at using quotations in his motivational audio programs. He would often present many quotations on a single subject to enhance his message and make it more convincing. The following is an extract from The Strangest Secret, one of his best-selling programs.

This is The Strangest Secret! Now, why do I say it’s strange, and why do I call it a secret? Actually, it isn’t a secret at all. It was first promulgated by some of the earliest wise men, and it appears again and again throughout the Bible. But very few people have learned it or understand it. That’s why it’s strange, and why for some equally strange reason it virtually remains a secret.

Marcus Aurelius, the great Roman Emperor, said: “A man’s life is what his thoughts make of it.” Disraeli said this: “Everything comes if a man will only wait … a human being with a settled purpose must accomplish it, and nothing can resist a will that will stake even existence for its fulfilment.”

William James said: “We need only in cold blood act as if the thing in question were real, and it will become infallibly real by growing into such a connection with our life that it will become real. It will become so knit with habit and emotion that our interests in it will be those which characterize belief.” He continues, “…only you must, then, really wish these things, and wish them exclusively, and not wish at the same time a hundred other incompatible things just as strongly.”

My old friend Dr. Norman Vincent Peale put it this way: “If you think in negative terms, you will get negative results. If you think in positive terms, you will achieve positive results.”

George Bernard Shaw said: “People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.”

Well, it’s pretty apparent, isn’t it? We become what we think about.

The number of quotations used in the example might seem a bit excessive. But when you listen the recording of this motivational talk, it seems natural. By quoting so many notable figures throughout history, Earl Nightingale increases the strength and credibility of his message.

So the next time you need to write a speech or create a presentation, remember the power of quotations.